Parenting is challenging enough and even more challenging when you are a single parent.
Single moms have a lot going on in heads, but that doesn’t mean they can’t handle dating and romance simultaneously. Going for a date might be tough and difficult for single moms. But you can smoothly make it work without putting too much pressure.
Dating for single moms is different than others. Things are not the same for single mom’s life as they have responsibilities for their child. Single moms need to be guided properly before going on a date so that they can use the strategies to make the meeting successful.
Whether you’re a single mom looking to get into dating or someone who is trying to find the right way to ask out a single mom, this expert advice will make post-divorce dating life easier, for you and your kids.
1. Make sure the time is right
It’s hard to carve out the time and mental space for dating, but thinking it through might help you to move on. “It’s important to figure out where dating falls on your priority list,” recommended Amy Morin, LCSW, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do.
2. Make dating a priority
Being a single parent is difficult as you are always busy with your work or with your kid. But if you want to find a partner then you ought to make an extra effort to go out even though you are busy.
If you have no time in your busy schedule, take your kid on a brunch or coffee date. Sometimes scheduling a date is easier if you take the kids with you. When you’re on a date, focus on your date to make it work.
3. Talk on the phone first.
If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, then you must know that the person is willing to talk to you. It should not be the case like you have come on a date and right after minutes; he seems to be less interested in you. First, know their requirements and efforts he is making to meet you.
4. Be ready to move on
“If you are ready to date, remind yourself one thing that in addition to being a mother, you have your own wants and needs,” says Jaclyn Friedenthal, Psy.D, of the Thrive Psychology Group.
Desiring a fulfilling life does not mean you’re selfish; it means you are a thriving, healthy woman. Always remind yourself that you deserve to have your wants and needs met.
Single parenting is challenging.
Finding a new partner and not being able to forget an ex-husband is a self-betrayal. Be ready to move on from past relationships just for the sake of your kid even if it’s not easy enough.
Your kids don’t have to meet every new man you are dating.
Children get uncomfortable when they notice their mom talking to lots of men. It’s a good idea to keep your dates private until things start to get serious and real.
Otherwise, there may be chances of ending things up making your kids angry or jealous. When it’s time for the kids to meet this great new man, make it a casual meeting somewhere else other than your home.
5. Don't become intimate too soon
It’s natural to feel comfortable around the person you are seeing when you start dating again. But the bedroom is not the best place to start a relationship. Learn to give time in a relationship otherwise ultimately may end up with break-ups.
If your new man isn’t willing to wait, then he is not the right one for you. A true gentleman won’t push too hard and will respect your feelings and maintain distance from you until you are ready.
6. Take it slow
A new relationship can feel like a breath of fresh air and it’s easy to want the relationship to develop at a fast pace. Give yourself time to get to know this new person. Know his hobbies, work, interests, and requirements and if the relationship has long-term possibilities, then taking it slow won’t hurt. It will give your kids time to adjust to him.
Be as honest as you can with your kids when the time is right
As you know how curious children are to know new things. Depending on their age, acting secretive can only bring more questions. There’s no reason to hide the fact that you’ve decided to start dating. When you get an opportunity, tell your kid about the new relationship, and try to be honest with them.
7. Balance your priorities
Find an opportunity for your kid to spend some alone time with your new boyfriend, you need to think it through. As a new parent, the kid should be able to have a good bonding with your partner. Remind your partner that the kid will be your first priority in any situation. Make your kid go out with his new parent; this is how both will get to know each other.
8. Expect some resistance
Don’t expect your kids to be overjoyed when you first start dating. After all, they also have a new person to share a bond with. Sit down with them and understand their feelings. Explain to them that you love them, but you also like to spend time with your friends just like they do. And as an adult, you get to make the decisions and not your kids.
