Living in a joint family feels like raising your child on a reality show: there’s love, chaos, unsolicited advice, and a lot of background characters.
As a mom, I’ve had moments where I felt grateful for the extra hand.
But there were also times when it was hard, because everyone had their way of doing things and thought their way was better than mine.
Silently frustrating, isn’t it?
Some days feel easy, like when someone else rocks the baby to sleep or makes lunch while you catch a break. But other days are tough, too many opinions, too little space, and decisions that never feel fully yours.
Living in a joint family has its pros & cons. In this blog, I’m sharing it with you.
If you’re a mom in a joint family, this blog is for you. We’ll cover what is great, what gets difficult, and some practical tips that helped me handle it all a little better.
What Makes Raising Kids in a Joint Family Great?
Raising children in a joint family has many good sides. These are some of them:
1. Great Support System
There’s always someone to help. Grandparents, uncles, and aunties are around to play with the child, feed them, or watch them while I rest or finish work. It helped me after delivery and still helps during busy days.
2. Cultural and Moral Values
Children learn values just by being around family. They see how elders are respected, how traditions are followed, and how everyone supports each other. These small things teach them good behaviour and build strong family bonds.
3. Social Development
My child learned to share, speak up, and manage emotions early on. Living with cousins and elders made them more confident and friendly. They’re never alone, and they learn how to adjust with different people every day.
4. Less Dependency on Hired Help
I didn’t have to worry much about hiring a nanny or extra help. Family members step in when needed, whether it’s picking up my child from school or watching them when I’m out for work. It reduces a lot of pressure and saves money, too.
These are a few benefits of raising a kid in a joint family. On the other hand, there are some challenges where things get a little difficult. Let’s explore them…
Where Things Get Difficult?
While joint families offer many benefits, there are also some real challenges that parents face. These are some common issues that can make parenting harder in a joint family:
1. Too Many Opinions
When you become a parent, you’ve prepared your own way of parenting. In a joint family, you’ll get parenting tips from family members and they’re not afraid to share them. Whether it’s about discipline, screen time, or feeding habits, too many voices can get confusing. Sometimes, I get advice I never asked for, which adds to the stress.
2. Lack of Privacy & Boundaries
Personal space is compromised in a joint family. It’s hard to find alone time with your child or partner. There’s always someone around, and it becomes difficult to stick to your own parenting rules when others are constantly involved.
3. Mixed Messages
One person says yes to ice cream, another says no. Some pamper too much, others scold quickly. These mixed signals confuse the child and make it harder to set a clear routine or discipline system.
4. Decision-Making Becomes a Group Effort
Big and small decisions often involve the whole family, whether it’s about which school to choose or what the child should eat. While it’s nice to have support, it can also lead to disagreements and second thoughts.
Real-Life Tips From One Mom To Another
If you’re also raising kids in a joint family, these tips might help you too:
1. Set Clear Boundaries (Lovingly)
Let your family know what rules you follow for your child. Be kind, but firm. You don’t have to argue, just explain what works for your child and ask for support, not permission.
2. Choose Your Battles
You don’t need to correct everything. Some things can slide. Focus on the few parenting values that matter most to you, like sleep routines, screen time, or discipline, and stick to them.
3. Align With Your Partner
Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. Talk things through privately and handle parenting as a team. Let your partner speak to their side of the family when things get tricky.
4. Involve, Don’t Isolate
Don’t push family members away; include them in your child’s life in small, meaningful ways. Ask Dadi to tell bedtime stories or let Nana take them to the park. It keeps everyone connected without giving up control.
5. Take Time for Just Your Nuclear Family
Every now and then, step away from the crowd. Plan a small outing or dinner with just your child and partner. It helps you bond as a small family unit and gives your child focused attention.
In Conclusion
These things look small in effort, but they help you do parenting in the best way. And there’s no perfect formula. Just do what works for your family, and do what works best for your child. You don’t need to make it complex in your mind.
That’s it for today! Thank you for your time!
