If you are a single mom, your life isn’t the same as your married friends’. And, if you are a married mother who has never been through a divorce or experienced how it feels to be a single mom, it’s tough to identify with your single friends.
Anyone who has to experience the journey of motherhood understands that it isn’t always comfortable. Everyone’s journey is distinct, and all moms face their unique set of problems. For single moms, the journey is even more complicated as they unexpectedly find themselves facing a completely new set of issues while experiencing a completely new self-identity as a “single mom.”
They need some understanding! Too often, single moms are asked inconvenient questions, pushed into blind dates, and typically hear all sorts of nutty things that make them bored.
Here are Things Single Moms Want You to Know
1. Don't Feel Bad for Us
Being a single mom isn’t always perfect, but even with the problems of being the single mom to take care of the kid, we are happy. Without another person, we always decide and don’t have to bother about stepping on anyone’s toes. We may not have free time with our children, but free time doesn’t require a compromise between two adults.
2. Talk to Your Kids about Different Families
We don’t like our kids to have to explain why they have single parents often. It’s not their fault, so they should not feel wrong or different. If you open a conversation with your children about the reality that some children only have a single parent or some have both the parents of the same gender, then it will not be a problem for anyone when it comes up.
3. Please don't Assume We Want to Be Set Up
Yes, we’re single, and frankly, it’s not so imperfect. Sometimes it’s lonely, but that doesn’t mean that we want you to set us up every other eligible bachelor. Dating is complicated as it is without having kids involved. If he’s a stunning choice and you feel we’re ideal for each other, then give me his contact number, but a big no to blind dates, please!
4. Don't Try to Get Sympathy When Your Husband is Gone Overnight
We get it—being alone with your children 24/7 can be overwhelming sometimes—but you know there’s an end in sight, and you’re probably not the sole income. If you want to commiserate, we’ll try to listen, but don’t complain about your situation too much, because you’re telling me that my life is awful. Not cool.
5. Don't Say, "I Don't Know How You Do It!"
If you have kids, then you understand how we do it—one step at a time, as each situation comes up—just like you. What looks like an impossible task for you is our regular day. We do it because we love our kids and because we have to. It’s not as bad as you think.
6. Tell Us How Awesome Our Kids Are
We don’t always benefit from a partner who can tell us great stories about something our kid said or did, and we don’t have anyone giving us feedback on how things are going. We know how cute, funny, polite, and smart our kids are, but we still need to hear them. A compliment about our kids can make our hearts leap and give us something extraordinary to think about during the more challenging times.
7. Don't take it personally when we can’t make Plans
We would love to go out for dinner and drinks this Friday—but we can’t. Even if we do get financial help with our children, it’s expensive raising children, and there is not a lot of money to go around for outings like that. Also, it’s not always easy to find a babysitter we trust and can afford. Don’t stop asking us, though—someday we’ll be able to say yes.
